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AM I OK?

by Joshua Bryant

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1.
Buying Time 03:17
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A single thought to sum this feeling I can't define The permanence is left here for you I hope you'll find It is adequate and carefully crafted 'cus you were on my mind with every line But if it's not enough speak up Speak up I take my time and let it open wide To find the heartbeat glowing Traverse divides in search of something else I guess it makes me feel alive I need you, you need me Hear our pulse in beat The subtlety speaks so clearly At least we meet I've been building this up for this very moment Buy the time to look inside I hear you. Can you hear me? Hear me
2.
Back Home 02:41
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After all this time We can't say it's how we thought that it would be Here we are face to face Suffered scars on the way Back home to seek starting brand new I never meant to hurt you Despite all that I've done Circumstances could've been different There's no going back The funny thing is I thought I didn't need to treat you well My bags were packed. I was ready to run I couldn't walk away It only took a moment For you to bring me to my knees Beads of sweat loss of breath I bowed down to you You gave me no choice Sometimes it's hard to look at you The shame and guilt, disbelief I know it's not your fault
3.
The Devil On My Shoulder 04:10
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Every body breaks sometime You don't have to be ashamed Holding on to all this hope Is it really helping things? I'm so glad you came inside Let me get you right. Sit tight You feel familiar And I'm sure you heard those promises of Fences painted white, such a perfect life Yeah right You can keep dreaming, dreaming It's why I say Why waste the time these days Crawl back into my cave Happily chained Oh please, won't you stay and watch the Shadows on the wall Perfectly adept at making you feel Home in my presence, your harbor for respite This chair was made for you To take a rest and stare at the ceiling Accept this as healing You and I can stay here Forever be free from Letdowns and bad breaks We're safe from the heartache I can make you warm, blankets for the storm Keep calm You wouldn't leave me So don't question it, see I'm crawling out No more shadows I can save you
4.
Interlude (Underneath the Stars) 01:50
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Set in motion the ceremonial Supernatural, sentimental sway Underneath the stars Watch the world dissolve We are rhythm intertwined Heartbeats synchronized Stay close Push and pull apart Find us in the dark Our embrace is everything I want Everything I need Here
5.
VV 02:44
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A promise I make to you I'll give you the best of me It's unconditional Know that I'll never leave I'll go to the ends of earth That's what you deserve I won't let you down Little heart of mine You always seem to make me smile and I remember when you asked if you can touch a sound It blew my mind I hope you find these sounds are touching you It's good to know you aren't afraid to take a fall And get back up. Don't let anything stand between you And what you feel you need to reach To fulfill your heart's desire When I look into Your eyes I see your mother staring Back at me. Those eyes hold keys to having me Lost in how sweet and beautiful it is to have you near I try to be the right example. I will show you how It feels to be adored and cherished for just what you are A shining light, my warrior Keep walking your own path
6.
Like Son 03:16
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Here we are now, my son Healing our wounds, undone I'm so sorry no choice was given to you And it's hard sometimes, I know it is Stay strong You've come so far, so much more ahead This won't define you And all I want is to..... Take it all away So it's all over now, I want to Right now Just know I love you so
7.
Sound Asleep 03:31
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You and I Sound asleep Safe in our dreams so deep We always knew this night would come along Can't we just dream for now Let's lay it all down We'll have to wake up soon But for now let it sleep in sound We should let it sleep it sound In here we drift along the wind Tethered by our immunity Surrounded by the radiance We are free Everlasting Tomorrow, it may never come So why should we let this chance slip away Tonight is our only guarantee You and me, boundless energy I don't want to wake up 'cus it's you and I and we're sound asleep We're safe in our dreams so deep

about

As I laid in the hospital bed the morning of June 30, 2021, a few hours after a 13-hour surgery, I heard the doctor telling me I had stage three colon cancer. They say your life flashes before your eyes, but for me, my longing for the future flashed - growing old with my wife, teaching my son to shave and drive, walking my daughter down the aisle. My prognosis was later downgraded to stage two, thankfully.

I spent the next few days thinking through a lot of things in that room while recovering. One quote in particular went through my mind over and over. “There’s still some stuff in the basement.” I can always count on Rocky Balboa to get me through, I guess.

I became aware of that lingering possibility that my time can come to an end way sooner than I planned. It’s always over my shoulder now. As a result, I don’t want to take these ideas with me; I want to leave them here as artifacts for you, for anyone that can use it, and for my descendants to know they may have gotten a little of their weirdness from the guy in these recordings.

“Am I ok?” is a question that has gone through my head every day since that morning I was given the news. This album is a step towards making sure that the stuff in the basement gets to the light of day. Because, who’s to say there’s always going to be that tomorrow to put this off until?

This album addresses all that matters to me: my art, my relationship with myself, my family.

Am I ok? Are we ok? I think the only ones that can answer that are ourselves.

I hope you enjoy!

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released February 17, 2023

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Joshua Bryant Richmond, Virginia

Musician. Father. Husband. Survivor. VCU School of Music alumni. Sometimes I still make music. I was in bands.

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